Well into the bewitching hour I am seeking protection in the anonymity of the night. As I lay on my bed with my computer propped on my lap the moon shines through my window casting a glowing shadow on myself. It almost appears I am glistening luminously. I suddenly feel connected to Maui. Bittersweet-ness is tantalizing.

Tantalizing- THAT explains it... "it's what I've known right from the start"

I woke up today realizing my mind was going to be blown. I was not disappointed. I headed way uptown to 190th to visit The Cloisters Museum- a collection of medieval French art & architecture. Just the wilderness of the area was amazing- still in NYC (Inwood) but quiet and serene and open and amazing and...open! Carolina joined me in the afternoon. Seriously, only a bottle of champagne in the gardens would of topped the day- or so I thought. So we headed back down to 111th (Morningside Heights of the Columbia University fame) to St. John the Divine Cathedral. Now I may not be into religion, but I'm into religious experiences & had heard so much about this place. Jay, ever the gracious host, met us at the Hungarian Pastry Shop first- of which I will forever be in his debt for telling me about this place. Carolina's eyes widened at the sight of all the fancy treats (and this is from the girl from Brazil from where comes so many fancy treats)! Jay told us the recent legend of the white peacock so we went in search of it throughout the grounds. We found ourselves way in the back in the area where a fire blazed part of the cathedral's southeast side and up above in/on the ruins were 2 beautiful fully-brilliant male peacocks spreading their feathers in an incredible show of machisimo. As we continued on in search of the albino peacock a crack in the (suddenly) threatening sky provokes us to consider taking refuge for the imminent downpour. Walking away, a loud SWOOSH comes over us all and it is a peacock in full fancy flight heading furiously for a sheltered alcove. Carolina shouts out "Jesus Christ" and we all just looked at each other and giggled. So back in the gardens we finally encounter the elusive white peacock and Wow- my mind is blown again...today. So los Mariachis serenading us at dinnertime was just icing.

I really do see beauty here. It's not as apparent as the inyourfacekindaelectrifyingnaturalenvironmentrespiringjunglefoilageovertakinghumanity kinda way I'm familiar, no intimate, with on Maui but its here. "...and I still have one foot on the road... and there's still so much I don't know." I want to seek out more. I want to know more. I want to be intimate with more moments of truth in life. I just want my mind blown- continuously because with every shock to my mental framework, my body relaxes even further back into its natural state of soft supple receiver-ship. Enough to let in the rising tide of intimate bittersweet-ness and imprint memories into my DNA letting them rest on the banks of the river that is my central & esoteric nervous system. Let the banks of my river overflow with juicy bittersweet-ness.

Back to my day though... Carolina, Jay & myself find ourselves caught in a torrid downpour with lightning whipping through the sky as we started racing down the streets that suddenly flooded. As I looked at my surroundings, EVERYBODY was dashing for cover. Darkness filled the sky with layers of texturized gray. It was so beautiful I might have shed a tear had we not been dodging cars whizzing by the side streets with spray drenching unsuspecting pedestrians. It was so fun and I really felt alive at that moment. I giggled as everyone grumbled because I know this weather intimately. It is so seductive- yet not bittersweet, but it could be. It could be experienced with someone equally passionate in front of the elements. No, that would just be sweet...

On an ending note I was witness to something likened to a "Manhattanhenge" As we 3 were running for cover inside Mama Mexcio's we passed 104th, 103th? and looked west towards the Hudson and in that moment the sun was setting down the street in perfect symmetry between the buildings with the brilliance of the flamming ball of fire seemingly sinking from the skyline into the unknown due to the burden of heavyness caused by burning luminous sphere. My mind is blown. The bewitching hour fades. "I can feel sun on my face and the night lets go its embrace. And I still have one foot on the road. And there's still so much I don't know."

statuesque

A brand new day in the city! In love with all the external stimuli here and I'm not even out of bed yet! School is fantastic and my classes are full of students, like myself, that are so full of new ideas and challenging old ideologies and paving the way for a new beginning. I am so impressed w/the faculty. It's a very innovative concept how classes are run and very progressive- as the institution itself is. No complaints here... and no blog as my alarm just quacked so must be off & running to catch the express train on time...

addendum to ponderings- as always

The midnight hour knocks on the door to my soul and I open it up- the door, of course... With trepidation, no- anticipation. The anticipation of delving deeper into bittersweet-ness. Time to choose the medicinals wisely...

I've been pleasantly struggling with my new favorite lexical choice as of late. NYC has unleashed some incredible energy forces down into me. Am I the receptacle of light energy? It isn't a sure bet. I don't have the cool, calm nocturnal jungle energy to aid me in my thoughts. I am learning to find what I need here for this exact endeavor, but I don't yet have a sure-fire method. Without this how can I answer what keeps me awake... pondering?

Do we fade away into each other's treasure chest of memories like dusty, discolored photographs? Do we save ourselves from that distant dirt road in Mexico? Why? Why not?

I've never been one for fairytales outside of the entertainment factor. I have science fictional tendencies. Do "science chicks rock"? Does Einstein up here have it right as the sign says? (BTW - courtesy of a wall of street art in the Meatpacking District near the entrance to the HighLine). Is bittersweet-ness lovely? I've decided I think it's sweet to share...

ponderings

The bewitching hour here in NYC & no one to bewitch. So much external stimulus surrounds me here that it is difficult to take it all in. As I try to concentrate on working tonight I keep becoming preoccupied with the term 'bittersweet' What exactly is the state of bittersweet? As per Wikipedia; "

Bittersweet refers to a combination of the standard tastes of sweetness and bitterness, and is often used as a metaphor for experiences which have binary elements of happiness and sadness, or pleasure and pain."

So there you have it. So perhaps what I am experiencing is not a state of bittersweet-ness but just incredibly fortunate to be dealt the hand I've been dealt in life, or more appropriately to make choices based on my desires. Rarely am I disappointed in my choices lately. To be able to feel something, a situation, and express the dualities that exist within every said situation. Or is this just a legacy from my father to analyze things and break down everything from machines to concepts into a raw material? At this point I have to consider this a unique flaw of mine that is part of the merchandise and the appearance of these flaws just adds to the artistic ensemble...

I suppose I am speaking in tongues. Easy to do in the bewitching hour. As well it is easy to speak in tongues in this city. There are so many solitary warriors going about their day that so much just slips under the radar. As an ethnographer I am overwhelmingly fascinated with subway etiquette. Rarely is there a sighting of a Homo Sapien doing nothing. Required social (or rather anti-social) apparatus includes iPod or iPhone, or other said "off brand choices"; less likely a book, magazine or newspaper, a rarer sighting of a homeless person to the rarest sighting being someone doing absolutely nothing. When I am caught offguard with nothing to cover up my undercover covert ethnographic observing, I tend to look at people. No one is really trying to catch anyone's eye. Lives seem so private and unapproachable. I had a miraculous conversation (ok, some basic niceities acknowledging mutual disagreement with the system) yesterday with a chick that came on the next stop after me and as she entered the train, a wave of heat struck her and she let out a long sigh- thereby effectively communicating to me that she, too, was revolted by the heat. We looked at each other and just laughed as everyone else stared vacantly into their distractions.

I am also finding out that one cannot do everything on one's list for the day in this city. It takes dedication of reading through various publications and adding onto calendars, first the phone so can download to the computer and various alerts days in advance of things. I find my iPhone beeping, or rather quacking, to me every few hours with something to do. How am I ever going to find the time to study and excel in school- which is the entire point. In fact, I need to be studying right now... I cannot let this quiet, dark solitude of the bewitching hour pass by without an opportunity to become bewitched by my school books. Yes, better than nothing...

intimacy

Sunsets & silhouettes share intimacy

The sun plunging through a cloud bank out on the horizon is such an almost invasive intimacy to take part in- to be a silent observer. Fishing boats pulled up onto the shoreline to await another sunrise. I'm flooded with intimate memories on this night in the city. I'm in no mood to go out and try to make new intimate moments with the nighttime sky tonight. I can't take in any of NYC's nocturnal charms tonight because Maui is on my mind, and Bulgaria is on my mind.

A little over a week in the city so far and I hit crisis today; I NEED to smell, I need to have my vision stimulated by vast empty areas of greatness. I need to feel smothered in damp, heavy, intoxicating air. I want to have salt water dry on my skin and crack it and leave a fantastic trail of salt trailing behind long after the water evaporated to unleash their healing powers. I need to bike by Hookipa nearing sunset and look out at the line-up of surfers in the water and perhaps catch glimpse of that one set that comes along on those magical days that roar through out of nowhere and cleans up. When passing Mama's Fish House the night blooming Cereus- a otherworldly plant straight out of a hypnopompic science fiction novel where humans finally develop a way to communicate with plants and gain insight into their fantastical world- what exactly DOES give some of them their unique flair? Why are white flowers in the tropics night bloomers? Why do they hold such intimacies?

I am pondering how I miss the intimacy of my hands in the dirt. I miss that my hand has not cramped lately from having a trowel in it and shaving down a test unit into a perfect 1.0m x 1.0m x 1.0m work of art. In misery sometimes the most amazing intimicies are uncovered. I am reminded of 10-hour work days where we are all working side by side on our individual tasks and sharing stories and absurdities alike. 10 hours a day, etc. Archaeologists are funny peeps. We love to open up mysteries but tend to remain mysteries ourselves. Maybe we want people to tease it out of us like we use our trowels to carefully (most the time...) take down each layer of soil ever so painstakenly and intimately like we are having a conversation with it... Yes we are peculiar and I mean this in the most grateful of ways.

Perhaps it is just me. There are many people that know me but very few who really get me. Maybe I keep the details tucked away inside a treasure map for my friends to navigate through and have a fantastical journey of discovery along the way. Because, from what I gather, it is the journey...the meat... the intimacy.

Just another voice drowned out by the deafening sounds of people, of cars, in the city that never sleeps... New intimacies I need to familiarize myself with because I need to have intimate contact with my environment or else I don't know what will happen. Who can live without that? I will find that kind of peace here. I've caught glimpse of it already: viewing the Hudson from Chelsea Piers late at night when walking to the C train on 14th & 8th. I've seen it walking through Times Square oddly enough but not really. I've seen it walking on the High Line http://www.thehighline.org/

ok I'm not even going to proof this...

Dancing Wu Li Masters

The Wu Li Master dances with his student. The Wu Li Master does not teach, but the student learns. The Wu Li Master always begins at the center, the heart of the matter.... This deals not with knowledge, which is always past tense anyway, but with imagination, which is physics come alive, which is Wu Li....

somebody in the know said that

Aloha Kakahiaka na oukou (g'day all)

I woke up immediately engaged in dance: Summer- I can smell summer today. Here in the lands of Pauwela, Haiku, NNE coast of Maui (coordinates 20°55′14″N 156°18′45″W / 20.920528°N 156.312631°W / 20.920528; -156.312631) wikipedia  there has occurred a shift. It is ever so subtle but Kama`aina can feel it. First, in a city one smells the heat from the sun radiating down onto the asphalt (concrete jungle) - the pungent odor that, at first, is apparent, then becomming familiar. It is like this in the jungle as well but instead of asphalt it is the heat of my gravel and dirt driveway... (lol). This is true though. Next indicator: sunrise spontaneously erupting with no cloud cover to gently stir myself out of slumber. Instead it seems a demanding-immediate-attention interruption from hypnopompic state to reality. The event stirs up the agitation, or perhaps delight, of the bird populations here into a cacophonic symphony of earthly sounds as they greet the day and start foraging. 

So, I feel the shift & am grateful I still retain a  primal enough sensibility to experience this. It will become more subtle in the next few days and will seem natural soon enough. At least until the trade winds come back bringing much welcomed evening & morning rainfall. Everything happens for a reason & I see this is a precursor for me for NYC. There will be no gentle rainfall to stir up the night blooming jasmine that invades me senses, no cloud cover enveloping my domain to help ease daybreak, etc. So, time to charge city life for a few months I suppose...

The Wu Li Masters will find me. Maui is not going to let go of me easily though. Friends have already decided we are going camping in Hana next weekend. The road to Hana; there is a destination of course, Hana, but there is so much more involved. The road to Hana coats you with a slick, permeable substance that attracts one to the sheer magnitude of what is being experienced- visually, physically, emotionally. It is a road trip if I ever had one- every time. Explosions of waterfalls around every bend to audible shock you into a mesmerized stupor- or sometimes it is just a trickle of water that seems so deafening; the fruit stands that hug each ess curve so precariously that you feel the coconuts on the bamboo counters will roll al the way down the hill straight into the ocean if balance is lost. And the requisite fruit flys that hover just above each nectar nugget... It is all so much to process right now. I want to experience it all so I can remember...

What will be my fetish in NYC? A friend recently brought up the subject of fetishes. We were having a hard time distinguishing between a fetish and a passion strangely enough. I wikipedia'd fetish: Fetishism, the attribution of religious or mystical qualities to inanimate objects. Now, an inanimate object is something that is deficient of having a quality associated with living organisms. This is fun to think about! So Wikipedia has some new definitions of fetishism:

• Content Fetish (2004), by James Paul Gee: the view that any academic area, whether physics, sociology, or history, is composed of a set of facts or a body of information and that the way learning should work is through teaching and testing such facts and information
• Growth Fetish, the pursuit of economic growth in politics and economic theory as a universal cure for all society's problems

I just found this amusing- that is all...

Ok, clearly I cannot focus on any one thing right now...

Lunacy

Ok, it's 3:30am

Well into the bewitching hour. The Field: Out on my Lanai where, at this moment, no traces of moon glow exist. Through the dense foliage I look through the  Bird of Paradise tree's open flower-ettes that are so majestically separated to part the skyline.  Barely visible through the dark quietness of the night but the moon has since journeyed from this spot & moved on leaving nothing.

So, I listen to the crickets, more time-challenged roosters and  intermittent winds sweeping down the gulch and when passing near my place seem to always linger and spit out a brief rainfall. Here it comes now in fact. I really know this place, these lands of Pauwela. That is just so cool the rain came when I was reflecting on it ever so poetically! 

I have spent over 3 years pondering from this Lanai. Late at night alone, or weekend mornings with Neighbor Nancy- the Norse Nissa. Mr. Kolohe K Kitty Kat spent some sweet times out here late at night. He saw so much more action of course cruising around evah so stealthily (HA he was 14 pounds & already over his desire to kill unless very easy to manage...). Still, he surely encountered more night wanderers than I did here. Only one seemed to take an interest really. 'He' stuck around a while. I believe he is still here. The sea salt put him in his place so to speak. The salt thing though needs updating. I updated the ceremony about a month ago. I felt it again. Not in a strange way but, just as I told it the first time around, I'm just too busy right now with a lot on my mind with work & school that I don't have the proper time to delve into these esoteric ponderings. Tonight actually would be a good night-

So got a bit off track there...

...And another round of warm winds carrying light mists. I can hear raindrops falling in different consistencies. Hawaii has over 100 terms for describing rains: `Awa refers to fine rains or mists, kawa it for heavy rains, unexpected rains are ililani, slanted rain is ua hikiki`i. Quite a beautiful language that accounts for so many varieties, that they took the time to ponder these rains and understand them; what precedes them, their innate qualities- and what a place that rained so much this was necessary!

So the pics: #1 on Baldwin Beach for Earth Day 2 years ago. I liked the shadows. #2 is at the old Paia Mill. #3 was taken ? by ? at The Source Interactive Arts & Music Festival right here in Keanae- about 20 miles up the coast. Keanae Peninsula- is there a word to...no I don't think there is. It's sweet. It was a 3 day party, with intermittant downpours! Dancing recklessly in a mudpit, and sweatlodges and great wholesome food, and friends not seen in a long time. Anyway, Michael is the VJ & dedicated Maui Burner. The go-to guy for all the updates... that I haven't been going to...because all I do is work, study & sleep...but...soon to be over...in 2 days...and then 3 faboosh weeks of no school...Yea, full moon party was last night...and I couldn't go...because I had to write a paper...which I'm still not finished with yet.

Right then, it's 4 am & the rain is abating, telling me something- I think it has something to do with sunrise-

A Hui Hou a hiki i ka la a`e 

hypnopompic ponderings on a crisp Sunday morning in the jungle

Greetings from 20°55′14″N 156°18′45″W 

So I woke up early (roosters, birds, owls) and greeted the day on my lanai listening to sounds. No human activity to distract me from these moments- only the biorhythms of my Mac and me are witness. How strange.

 Resorted to some instant coffee in the fridge from a camping trip years ago. I am reminded of Chile now. I recall how difficult it was to find a cup of coffee that wasn't Nestle... And the strange phenomenon of these stand-up coffee bars in Santiago where only business men went to get served by exotic females. And then there was Hilary- she enjoyed instant coffee, and seemed to be genuinely addicted to the packet coffee mate creamer stuff. She used to pilfer them from basecamp when we worked on Kahoolawe Island (archaeologists). After that project ended she continued her love affair with artificial creamer by resorting to purchasing large tubes of them at Costco. I could never manage to bring myself to go to Costco. Something about seeing too much of people I suppose. Or at least too many Costco people. I don't support it. I have so much on my mind lately and ideas unexpressed verbally or even written (except for the brief musings posted on Twitter (MauiHollyday). 

Work weighing heavy lately & wearing it like a tightly cloaked increasingly heavy veil wrapped around my body and yearning for a loose Polynesian pareo to take its place. Turtles; unidentifiable (extinct) turtle carcasses found in a trench buried deep beneath a cultural layer on the south shore consumes my world as of late. Explanations that no one wants to hear- or at least some choose to ignore. It's big. Tiring of CRM (cultural resource management) work, or more appropriately tiring of with context which goes with it. I initially (14 years ago) thought science was about sharing ideas and coming to educated theories by talking with other experts in the field. This is so but there is an element of secrecy that exists because of this 'taboo' or exposing too much. It is increasingly difficult for me to not express my views and receive validity or criticism- I would welcome both.

At the moment all this noise is melting off of my bones. The deafening cacophony of the morning sounds feeds my need for solace. Here is some visual stimulation for you guys so you can get into my head trip... Ok ok, I can't figure out how to change the pictures to get down here. Damn, sorta ruins the effect I was going for but... 

So it is time to come out of the fog and get rolling. It's been an extremely sweet morning and now the clouds cloak the sun to add more texture to my dimension. I feel honored to not only internalize this but be able to express it. Let me know what you think.

 

Da calm after da storm

As with most things Maui, the 'storm' was a beautiful, passing event. It came, rather unexpected, it didn't live up to its hype (it's like as the 'storm' hit, IT just decided to go with the requisite "maui time" and just loll around effortlessly about the isle), it went- leaving barely an imprint. 

So. . .this brings us up to the present status quo of a fabulous brilliant Saturday with the scenery looking like a surreal photoshop project. The atmosphere is clean and clear in a lucid sort of way leaving me with hypnopompic dreams of. . . staying indoors and continuing the editing process of my film, "Istanbul Calling."

I have taken on this endeavor (finally) after being invited to a party for the retiring art director of the MACC. Daryl & Mary sought me out at the latest opening, Schafer Portrait challenge, www.mauiarts.org/schafer.html which I encourage all Maui denziens and visitors alike to check out. Back to the story. . . they were elated to tell me that they decided to go to Istanbul because I had painted such a bomb picture of that incredible city! They invited me to come over for their party and have me as the entertainment show along with my pictures of my experience! Imagine my surprise- I forgot to mention to them that one of the highlights was all the fun I had with my death metal rocker Turkish boyfriend that makes horror films, or all the corrupt partying I involved myself in with my friends there, etc! Did I in fact take pictures of the magnificent architecture? (I kid I kid). 

So, that was a week ago and I have been up LATE every night since editing all my pictures and labeling them, and taking out all the naked pics ::), etc so I can make a presentable slideshow with my projector. Additionally we are making Turkish cuisine so tomorrow am after yoga is dedicated to making baba ganoush! 

In other news, Katie-girl & I are headed to Cafe Marc Aurel, www.cafemarcaurel.com/ later this evening for an art opening and to catch up on chit chat. Wailuku Town is such a sweet oddity. I feel at home there- even though Haiku is home so more appropriately is, I feel at work there. Not a bad commute indeed.

As an archaeologist who is part of a movement to officially bring the sexy back to archaeology, I believe that having a work schedule comprising 4 10 hour days a week helps to add more sexiness right there in itself. Having 3 days off is a mini-vacation- EVERY WEEK. Now that's sexy. Well, for us worker bees, this schedule is highly coveted. I take advantage of this sexy time and get into the beachyogafriendscomputereatingdancing . Oozing sexyness now and bringing it out into the field come Monday! 

Since sexy archaeology consumes my brainwave activity today I will dish about my sexy archaeologists. At one of our current active archaeological job sites- surveying, mapping, & data recovery  of a pre-Contact Hawaiian site next to sweet beach-  ok, getting sidetracked again. . .

So Diane (Lil'D, Rochelle la Belle, Katie-girl, Shellusha and HollyMissBerry are the main female characters (Nico plays the alpha male lead). We do also have some part-time co-stars; Lady Di, Amy Bombastic (Amy I'll tell ya about it later. . .), and Liz Mare (she likes horses).

 So I'm going to dedicate some time time to making this happen; documenting our sexy lives. You guys will be frequently rewarded with updates & video snippits (love that word) on our place in this spec of time that we occupy on this planet we set up house in.

www.sexyarchaeology.org

I'm not sure if I came to my/a point here and I don't feel like proofing so this is it for now.  I suppose one point might be that I'm just a girl, and kinda interesting I think, so follow my adventures and tell me what you think. . . And for those that already know my fleshly existence, as opposed to my cyber existence, you know why you are reading this!