Travel. Time travel. When I travel I have time to think. Time Travel. S I'm reading Nabokov's "The Luzhin Defense". It's my first Nabokov so I don't know to compare to other stories. My first impression is how much I am reminded of my brother David in young Luzhin. I'm not sure I can pen the reasons, but they exist. Words likely cannot help nor hinder the reasoning.
It's funny as growing up, long after David had departed this earthly existence at the tender age of 21, I often looked to Kerouac to help explain my remembrances of David. That is Kerouac's infamous characters infused with a magnificent sense of wanderlust, not the author himself & his tragic demise. Perhaps though they are more entwined that I realize- Kerouac & David.
I originally set off with 1 plan- Plan A. What resulted, through a series of Miss Interpretations, was Plan D. It's as much as my willingness to seek out adventure as to my sense of some type of unassuming obligation to David to take things as they come and remain flexible. I thought so much about him on my recent adventures. I recall one Bozcaada-wine infused evening recounting those fateful events of his life to Ar & Ceyda downstairs in their kitchen. I was thankful they were a receptive audience as I just felt a need to divulge. It was a festive evening after all.
I also thought a lot about my father. About his infamous witticisms that, for so many years went unnoticed until I was at an age where I could operate just underneath the radar enough to get the subtlety of them- on a monumental level of course. Strange as it is, most of my fathers teachings have to do with relationships I form with people.
His voice sounds off in the most unusual situations & certainly the ones where I allow myself to be placed in the most compromising of positions. It has always been this way, but it was only until recently that they have had a real effect on me where I feel I was able to absorb the teachings, or wanted to, or needed to.
Now I'm not one to ever really get myself in a pickle, especially on an emotional level but his unassuming teachings did not go unnoticed on this odyssey of mine. I was also inclined to reap the benefits of the so-called phenomenon of "retail therapy". So as I await my flight here in the Izmir Airport on Turkey's North Aegean coast, I find my backpack (yes I still travel w/my trusty Dana Designs mountaineering pack of nearly 15 years that was a loving present from an ex ex ex ex boyfriend who had a BAD case of wanderlust...) extraordinarily heavy.
So yes I have a new pair of blue suede booties with a likely-too-high heel, but fortunately it's a stacked heel. So this therapy session occurred on a stopover in Istanbul. So did the Lush Hotel, the massages, the saunas, the exquisite meals... Now, I really had been dreaming about those boots. For months whenever I would come to Istanbul to visit friends I would have boot-mania at the top of my list. My last visit, just the previous weekend before, L-Fezzy & I scoured Istiklal in search of "the most killer bootie". I left empty-handed after trying on so many pairs. Okay only 4 pairs, but that is only because I am quite the discriminating shopper. Each a vain attempt at some sort of mythical gratification left a temporarily widening hole where a small part of my heart is... That is the non-rational part, which honestly pales in comparison to the rational.
So phenomenal pair of boots #2 happened quite randomly as my odyssey was winding down. I found myself in Izmir w/2 days to spare. What a surprise when I walked into the joint. Sitting there on proud display was a brown shade boot with a chunky 2" heel that went over-the-knee (OTK)! They were a wet dream. Do you all know how difficult it is to find a pair of OTK boots that don't look like hooker shoes with precariously high heels? Or, much to my dismay, how many OTK boots there are with a flat heel. Sooooo they we mine, and now they are jerry-rigged inside my back-pack in-between my loads of bikinis, stripy heels and slinky dresses I packed... Strangely enough I wore blue jeans nearly the entire time (okay yes,i did don my micro miniskirt a few times-mainly just for shock value).
The funny thing here is that not once did i hear my father warn me about those 2 impending purchases... He helps me to remain rational about relationships & career only- hence the need for retail therapy. Hmmm I wonder what is in store for me for the requisite yearly birthday rapidly approaching early next month... A black Prada messenger bag? The brown Bottega Venetta valise I need/desire for work? Egad!
Tomorrow marks midterms at the university I work at. I'm visualizing a madhouse with my students frantic to sputter out at least 1 minute of spoken English on the spot. As well I'm not their grader- there will be 2 Turkish teachers grading them instead... Hee hee. I believe the last day of the term is my birthday... How befitting. I'm thinking I will have to exit FAST to Istanbul.
It's been a memorable odyssey. Wanderlust always fills your mind with the little details of travel so one cannot really find the time to dwell on the larger realities of life. Time Travel. Now it's time to travel back to Gaziantep. It's almost like traveling back in time. Were talking the Fertile Crescent here. There is no other Fertile Crescent. To be a Fertile Crescent one indeed needs to be hinged between the Euphrates & Tigris Rivers. This is the Cradle of Civilization & this is where I call home for the time being. What lies ahead? Well it likely isn't Izmir as I didn't find the city particularly beautiful. At least I know I can check it off the universities in this region... So for that it was well worth the unexpected 2 days spent here. Oh yea, there is that other reason as well...
Me signing off
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