Bewitching Hour restlessness in the Fertile
Crescent
It’s 5 A.M. and I’ve been up since 3:30 A.M. My mind can’t
seem to stop working. Luckily it shut down for a good 5 hours earlier in the
evening so tomorrow won’t be a total blur at work. I’m not sure what keeps me
awake. Maybe it’s Thanksgiving tomorrow (today) and thoughts of being so
far away from my favorite American holiday? I know not. Maybe it’s trying to
sort through my life and my future plans? Prolly so.
It’s strange- being a world denizen. My connection to being
grounded, and my past is most definitely Hawaii, but I make new
connections as well. Every place I live and leave I have a connection with.
Sometimes it gets confusing; Do I really miss living in Tunis, or do I
just miss how strangely beautiful it was? Am I just being nostalgic about Istanbul,
or is it really the most incredible city I have been to? Do I miss the wonders
of the archaeological world, or am I just feeling blaise right now due
to circumstances that are, obviously, out of my control at my current
workplace?
..And now the 5:05 A.M. call to prayer… Funny, I have slept
through it all week, and now I listen to the strangely hypnotic melody. As I sit out on my lanai (terrace)
and view Gaziantep in the darkness I look into myself. All these
questions, but do I have answers? Do I need answers? Am I even seeking answers?
Back to the comfort of my bed, and my cozy Canadian Goose
Down sleeping bag… My thoughts wander back to work; how can I feel satisfied
that my students are merely satisfied with receiving a passing grade in class?
How do I not let it bother me that they want to become English teachers, yet
not fully understand modal verbs? How else can I convey to them that it will be
their responsibility to explain modal verbs to their future students when they
become teachers?
Since teaching in faculty I have realized that I like this
style of teaching- lecturing on specific subject content. Do I want to return
to grad school and complete a PhD? Am I experiencing PhD envy? Certainly
living in Turkey and seeing the incredible events of some of the
earliest beginnings of civilization has made my heart stir for archaeology
again…
When I was in grad school in NYC I was so happy to be going in a different direction
w/TESOL, and I still am happy because of the anthropological
connection that I feel to what I’m accomplishing in the present. But, something
inside of me is stirring- rather quietly at the moment. It’s no secret that I
miss the world of science.
This country is so amazing in that every step you take on
this land, you can feel the history- even the prehistory if you are sensitive
enough. What burnt me out with archaeology in Hawaii was the constant connect
of the past to the needs of the present and future- developers. The mysteries
unraveling from the earth were fantastic, but the constant pull of ethics
weighed hard on me. As well, so did the extremely physical manual labor.
Now that I have stepped out of that arena, though, I look
back into it. Those were my days of glory. The satisfaction of the physicalness
of it was immense. More so than with the satisfaction of finishing a day of
work at the university. But maybe I’m just romanticizing those moments with a,
currently, selective memory…
Something happened to me in Cappadocia during the
last Bayram. I saw this incredible landscape and along with this, I saw
development. The connection is strong; when you see a beautiful place, you see
tourism. With tourism you see development- increasing development. What I saw
in Cappadocia, I experienced for over 20 years in Hawaii- development going out
of control because of natural beauty and the inevitable ‘progress’ of
civilization.
Last week while I was reading the local news from my Twitter
feed, I saw 3 different articles on a major development issue in Cappadocia- Uçhisar to be exact. I don’t know
enough about the community, but I know enough to know that it’s going to be a
big, reoccurring problem for the community. The community is going to change-
because it’s so beautiful of a natural wonder. It already has-drastically since
my last visit 5 years ago. Even more so than my initial visit 11 years ago. If
the community doesn’t rise up now and protest big development… well…I hope the
community is up for an uphillbattle. They should have the power to change
things if they unite.
From what I read, there are no archaeologists required on
site during all aspects of construction- from the initial grubbing of the
surface to mass sub-surface excavation with large machinery. It’s frightening
to think what information is being lost. I would tell the local community there
that they need to be citizen-policing the construction site. I would hope that
at least the developer is a local person and/or entity so that the concerns of
the community will weigh heavy in his/their hearts.
I haven’t a clue about historic preservation laws in Turkey,
or the government’s desire and/or ability to keep large-scale development in
check with the needs of the local population. I somehow have the idea that
their stance is not as progressive as Hawaii’s though. I saw the same thing in
Hawaii: corruption, finding loopholes in county, state and Federal laws and
developers exploiting those loopholes, etc. I saw more than enough developments
go through without the proper ‘chain of command’ being taken.
Anyway, this is on my mind at 6 A.M. I should be sleeping…
My mind still wanders- to less complicated stuff though; Where should I go for
my birthday? Am I going to Kabak for New Year’s? Should I buy a bread machine?
Yes folks, this last one has been on my mind for a few weeks. So, Corporal
Punishment has a bread machine, and she makes bread every week. Lately she
hand-delivers to me freshly baked bread still warm from the oven… Not just any
bread mind you, but hearty, healthy breads that are so delicious to eat that
you don’t need to put anything on it. Anyway, I’m thinkng that a bread machine
will improve my life! See, it really is the little things in life that matter…
I think I see the first light of dawn trying to crack
through my silk curtains so I must end here and sleep for 1 more hour.
Happy Thanksgiving people! I’m eating turkey in Turkey
tonight! Yes, my Turkish friends are having a Thanksgiving soiree for us
vagabond expats. This is a wonderful thing that is what life is all about. Life
is so precious- even when you are lost in confusion and thought. There is
always something to be grateful about. I am so very grateful for my friends and
family, and to know that I can feel at home wherever I am.
*kerplunk*
oh, Happy Thanksgiving today, or tomorrow- wherever you are!
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