6.26.2009



Well into the bewitching hour I am seeking protection in the anonymity of the night. As I lay on my bed with my computer propped on my lap the moon shines through my window casting a glowing shadow on myself. It almost appears I am glistening luminously. I suddenly feel connected to Maui. Bittersweet-ness is tantalizing.
Tantalizing- THAT explains it... "it's what I've known right from the start"

I woke up today realizing my mind was going to be blown. I was not disappointed. I headed way uptown to 190th to visit The Cloisters Museum- a collection of medieval French art & architecture. Just the wilderness of the area was amazing- still in NYC (Inwood) but quiet and serene and open and amazing and...open! Carolina joined me in the afternoon. Seriously, only a bottle of champagne in the gardens would of topped the day- or so I thought. So we headed back down to 111th (Morningside Heights of the Columbia University fame) to St. John the Divine Cathedral. Now I may not be into religion, but I'm into religious experiences & had heard so much about this place. Jay, ever the gracious host, met us at the Hungarian Pastry Shop first- of which I will forever be in his debt for telling me about this place. Carolina's eyes widened at the sight of all the fancy treats (and this is from the girl from Brazil from where comes so many fancy treats)! Jay told us the recent legend of the white peacock so we went in search of it throughout the grounds. We found ourselves way in the back in the area where a fire blazed part of the cathedral's southeast side and up above in/on the ruins were 2 beautiful fully-brilliant male peacocks spreading their feathers in an incredible show of machisimo. As we continued on in search of the albino peacock a crack in the (suddenly) threatening sky provokes us to consider taking refuge for the imminent downpour. Walking away, a loud SWOOSH comes over us all and it is a peacock in full fancy flight heading furiously for a sheltered alcove. Carolina shouts out "Jesus Christ" and we all just looked at each other and giggled. So back in the gardens we finally encounter the elusive white peacock and Wow- my mind is blown again...today. So los Mariachis serenading us at dinnertime was just icing.

I really do see beauty here. It's not as apparent as the inyourfacekindaelectrifyingnaturalenvironmentrespiringjunglefoilageovertakinghumanity kinda way I'm familiar, no intimate, with on Maui but its here. "...and I still have one foot on the road... and there's still so much I don't know." I want to seek out more. I want to know more. I want to be intimate with more moments of truth in life. I just want my mind blown- continuously because with every shock to my mental framework, my body relaxes even further back into its natural state of soft supple receiver-ship. Enough to let in the rising tide of intimate bittersweet-ness and imprint memories into my DNA letting them rest on the banks of the river that is my central & esoteric nervous system. Let the banks of my river overflow with juicy bittersweet-ness.

Back to my day though... Carolina, Jay & myself find ourselves caught in a torrid downpour with lightning whipping through the sky as we started racing down the streets that suddenly flooded. As I looked at my surroundings, EVERYBODY was dashing for cover. Darkness filled the sky with layers of texturized gray. It was so beautiful I might have shed a tear had we not been dodging cars whizzing by the side streets with spray drenching unsuspecting pedestrians. It was so fun and I really felt alive at that moment. I giggled as everyone grumbled because I know this weather intimately. It is so seductive- yet not bittersweet, but it could be. It could be experienced with someone equally passionate in front of the elements. No, that would just be sweet...

On an ending note I was witness to something likened to a "Manhattanhenge" As we 3 were running for cover inside Mama Mexcio's we passed 104th, 103th? and looked west towards the Hudson and in that moment the sun was setting down the street in perfect symmetry between the buildings with the brilliance of the flamming ball of fire seemingly sinking from the skyline into the unknown due to the burden of heavyness caused by burning luminous sphere. My mind is blown. The bewitching hour fades. "I can feel sun on my face and the night lets go its embrace. And I still have one foot on the road. And there's still so much I don't know."