First Contact

The Great Feast of Eid-ul-Fitr

Like the color of silver,

in the night sky,

the new moon rises,

the holy month has past,

the fasting is over,

tomorrow is the great feast of Eid-ul-Fitr.

We will eat spicy chicken,

and mouthwatering pakoras,

I'll call my neighbors,

and friends on the street,

may the peace of Allah,

and joy of Eid,

be with everyone.

anonymous



Eid Mubarak!

I awoke this morning calm. There was not a stir amongst the magnificent date palms that line the avenue on my street. Through the filtered light coming in from my curtains on my bedroom's french doors, I viewed a haze of sleepy pink and yellow hues patterned on silhouettes of the city dwellers as the day begins. The corner venders are slowly setting up shop. The men are all shuffling to and fro. The man at the coiffeur pour hommes salon des artistes is sweeping his partition of sidewalk. I watch all this in wonder. I am full of gratitude to be a bit-part player in this moving picture show- a voyeur at best. I hide behind my curtains taking in the wonders of a life unknown to me until this moment- a life of a Tunisian denzien in Lafayette.

Looking at life below on the streets, it is textured with a sort-of fiction-esque mood. I find myself wanting to impose a logic to these characters as they go about their daily deeds. For you, my audience, I want to entertain and delight with the sounds and smells as I feel them. This experience is so vibrant and all the more heightened as it has just been down-pouring for 10 minutes and all my imported cast of characters have taken to the awnings for temporary relief. Oh the memories of 5 Corners, my beloved nest in the jungle of Maui for my new readers, floods my mind now as the heavy rains floods my salon.

Thunder is pounding the city so now my assorted cast has taken on the appearance of animated figurines in slow motion as seen through a hypnopompic dream where the set is seemingly flying through the air. It is like a strategic chaos as people are darting in between traffic looking for a space of relative safety from the oncoming invading army of raindrops and exploding ordnance.

The plot thickens, of course, as it is the last day of Ramadan- hence the above poem... (the "little") Eid begins tomorrow. Eid-Ul-Fitr marks the end of the month-long fasting during Ramadan. It is a day to thank Allah for giving the Muslim people the endurance to observe their fasts- especially relevant when Ramadan falls in the summer months when it is extremely hot and everybody is working and not drinking or eating from sun-up to sun-down. Eid officially starts when the 1st sliver of the new moon is visible, or, when Ramadan is officially over. So, on this day, or evening as sunset is the start of a new (lunar) day in Islam, all greet each other with, "Eid Mubarak"! Everybody wishes each other good luck.

From what I understand, everybody dresses up, children everywhere get gifts from friends and neighbors, and there is lots of food!

In other news, I've been asked by a few to take pictures while in the Medina (oldest part of the city with all the souks, etc.), but as of yet I have felt it inappropriate. Not to say that others aren't, but I kind of want to get established 1st and perhaps have people become familiar with me, and not seen as a tourist. Pictures will come soon. I hope I can abate you all with pictures of my new flat & neighborhood taken today...

http://blogs.wsj.com/indiarealtime/2010/09/09/declaring-eid-is-an-inexact-science/

So... here we are: It's 2:15 p.m. & I'm off to find a clothes-horse thingy to dry laundry on. First contact, the title of today's blog, hasn't really been explained, and cannot really, but just know it was a fantastic evening last night & much progress has indeed been made...
signing off from North Africa,
Mauihollyday

Day 2: Tunisian Outpost

Day 2: 01/Sept./2010

Through a thinly veiled haze of jet lag and associated hazards, i.e. sore throat, aching body and general confusion as to where north, south, east & west is in this new city I call home, I emerged this evening in search of sustenance. I have arrived on the Mediterranean shores at the end of Ramadan- which means procuring food during the daytime is next to impossible, in public anyway. My temporary residence is in the El Jardin area of Tunis. This area, at first glance, seems pleasant enough, and close to work with a 10-minute walking commute to work. I’m not sure I will stay in this area though as there is so much of the city to check out, and so very little time to do it.

Tonight, while in the elevator at Hotel Ariha, I was going up to meet a colleague for some dinner and some ‘talk story’ as we say in Hawai’i. As I was getting off on the wrong floor Analisa (a fiery Italian woman with loads of energy) stepped into my existence and now we are forever bound in that ‘happenstance’ meeting circumstance. As well we are now Face book friends- of course…Analisa (originally from Naples) was temporarily in town from Roma visiting friends. In a matter of a few seconds we were in the elevator together on a mission for some supper. My original dinner date did not appear at his doorstep when we finally found the right floor so we went off together.

Myself, I was weak from not eating since my arrival on Tuesday late morning (I could barely get out of bed to go out and get food but I knew the situation was soon to be dire if I didn’t find any), and Analisa on her last evening in the city before flying out in the morning. We scoured the streets looking for a restaurant but to no avail until we came upon Café De Palmerie on Rue De Egypte in the Lafayette neighborhood. As it is Ramadan only certain food was prepared. I had the most delicious Chorba and some crunchy filo pastry thing with an egg inside and some spices that topped it off. I devoured my food as we devoured our life histories. Together we had traveled the world, each relating different experiences and how they were to shape our lives. Analisa is an actress and I have been invited to Rome to see her perform. Of course I will make this happen.

Munir, a musician friend of Analisa, joined us afterwards for tea and conversation. Munir is apparently a fairly well known musician here in Tunisia (jazz-fusion, Sufi, etc) and he invited me to his performance on September 4 in La Marsa, a coastal community/resort area a few kilometers from Tunis.

So this is my story for the day but the point I want to express is that life is just so … happenstance. I started out my evening with every intention of having a difficult journey from jet lag, not eating, and general flu-like symptoms, and ended up encountering 2 more amazing people that populate the planet. I spoke neither French nor Arabic and Munir little English but all 3 of us were able to communicate and make a connection that will bind us together forever. This is a beautiful thing and one of the main reasons for my incredible journey out of the comfort of what I know to what I don’t know and just throwing myself into the arms of destiny.

On an ending note, I can’t wait to see our pictures posted on Face book! Now if only I can rid myself of this nasty sore throat that has attached itself to my being, trying to suck out the very life inside of me…

recovery phase...

Seize the day...

It finally came to me this morning as I'm lying in bed on an overcast, mildly rainy morning here at 5 Corners: desire to blog... again. It's been a while and the last posting came from a very stressed out person on the edge of academic insanity! That last semester of grad school had lasting effects on me; the emotions, the stress, the lack of quality sleep, the work load added to school load, the desire to write the most honest works that I could muster up that represented what I believed in... the list goes on. In the midst of all this I turned my back on the one thing that could have brought immense relief to all my perceived & real pressures- YOGA.

Well I'm back, and stronger than evah- ROAR! I'm working back up to 2nd series (ashtanga) and it is amazing what the body remembers- when the body remembers, the mind surrenders. Love this!

party season... December, 2009 at Tane's lovely Paia Plantation house. A sweet get-together of yogi/yoginis friends & family centered around Indian food- delisch! Namaste!!! We all have a dedication to our mats & work hard to achieve goals on the mat, as well as learn how to harness that energy derived from the mat and carry it over into our everyday lives.

Nadia & myself on Christmas morning at Mama's Beach in H`poko. We just came from Jaws where men were riding mountains... mountains of water. Beautiful morning indeed.

Now we are up in Polipoli Springs (conifer) Forest Reserve at 6200 ft. elevation of Haleakala, located in the fog belt of the Kua Forest Reserve. Breathtaking 4WD adventure that took us from the seacliffs of Peahi to the upper slopes of the mountain in less than 2 hours! We saw a friend along the way who was biking up the mountain & suddenly we both felt sheepish for driving- hah. At any rate watching his muscles flex as he rode made us swoon as he seemed so adonis-like in those moments (as well that he actually is- ahem). Anyhoo, back to the hollydaze adventures:  

                                                                         Here is Nadia & myself at Baby Beach for New Year's Eve w/the Blue Moon rising in the background (looks tiny, feels big & has a warm pull). We are getting our groove on as the others arrive to share in the celebration local-style

 Roseangela & me striking poses while recanting our good fortunes on life and all we have worked for & the continued achievement of our personal goals we set for ourselves & family. We are a diverse bunch aren't we??? Par-tay is in full mode at this point. What is great is that we are all over the world and yoga brings us together. Yoga transcends ethnicities, political agendas, work ethics, cultural ideologies- whatever! Oh, and the love for copious amounts of alcohol... occasionally...

our little soiree became bigger & brighter such as the full moon rising. Troubadours showed up w guitars...

...and tambourines- Yay Sunni!

Sunny's bod in background & mine in foreground seemingly dis-attached from our heads... This is a good thing as I always like my body to be of independent action than my brain. As well, our heads are most likely reeling in a pool of alcoholic haze? Well no, Sunni wasn't drinking. Myself, my head was swimming efficiently through a pool of semi-alcoholic haze...

Ok I think it's just about the time when some started stripping down to their barest assets (heh heh) & jumping into the ocean... Let's see if I can find any pics... Probably not at this juncture in the story as I should keep this G-rated...

Well I'll end w/the first moments of Twenty-ten in Hawaii.

2000-2009: A decade of the past

Twenty-ten, it's a number. I like it. I like the way it flows from my lips. I like the way I feel when I pronounce the sounds. That's all I have to say about that. I'm not one to look for a solution through numbers, yet the want/desire to start afresh from so many is infectious energy indeed.

No New Year's resolutions as well. Just the same as it ever was: health, happiness & spiritual growth. Well, I would like to work less... play harder...relax sweeter... Oh yea, airline tix need to come WAY DOWN in price.

Pau

bring on the hollydaze...

officially it's official today!!! I am with Masters Degree. What I have been through to achieve this... well it's been so educational in so many ways. It's just all so good. Nothing out of the ordinary from an outward glance, but I know it, and my pocketbook surely knows it...

It feels a bit anti-climatic honestly as work continues, small kine car annoyances persist, and I'm fighting some bug that decided to settle down and try to set up house during my festivities celebration. No matter though,  I'm going to bust it up tomorrow morning in yoga giving thanks in the form of 108 sun salutations in honor of the imminent solstice.

To my delight the weather has been complying w/my need for dressing in layers- at least a few days out of the year. It was in the low 60's the past few mornings. It also helps to not have a driver side window when driving to work @ 6:30 am so I get to bundle up regardless- ahaha! It's also fun when it's raining- which is pretty consistently always on the northeast shore so I can sorta maneuver the tarp to form a window of sorts, or I can just wear my raincoat to keep the rain off while driving. My chariot is seriously amusing. The windshield is cracked just about all the way through and now took a turn north about 2 weeks ago... I guess all the cops recognize my truck from job sites so know better than to ticket moi! Heh heh. Let's see, the rear passenger tire just blew out yesterday, or I should say the tread came off the tire. Was hoping to avoid fixing it until after the holidays when the island calmed down again & would not have to deal w/crazy shoppers but no such luck. I was forced to watch consumerism in full swing for almost 2 hours while I got 2 new tires (sadly the other one had wires showing as well- and throw in an oil change and I think I don't have to deal w/anymore of this maintenance for a while.

Car problems surely make a girl freak and piss & moan & just all kinda crazy talk. I met some interesting sorts though during the process. The island is so small  & sweet in this way. So all these detours to detract from my shining glory of conquering academia. Yea, I'm the same as I ever was alright, just poorer...

ok bring on the hollydaze-
oh yea, I believe Santa is coming through for me...

Da Gargoyles

adventurer girls

stepping out girls

working girls

Da Gargoyles had their first band practice tonight! Yes right in Katie-girl's kitchen! Katie on guitar & myself on tenor uke. We're getting our first song down: Blue Moon of Kentucky- lovely little ditty. My fingers are raw. The uke a bit difficult for tuning w/AECG as don't quite have the ear but the electronic tuner helps. It was a hoot & my fingers are raw. Feels like my index fingertip has no fingerprint anymore... Freedom from school- I like it so far. I even passed up an evening w/a man tonight (the man I spoke of  in my last post- strangely enough). What was I thinking? Well, in due time & I'm not one to break previous commitments w/da gf's... We'll see if he makes an appearance at the Kit Kat Cabaret theatre tomorrow evening. Yes the intrepid explorer in myself is basking in the glory that is referred to as free time: "sun is shining, weather is sweet", sing it Bob.

commendable behavior- I command it

Closing in on the bewitching hour & I'm in fine form.  I am in my official last week of grad school for my masters degree! I turned in my final draft last week  & it seriously feels indescribable at this point, almost to the point of void.  Rather anti-climatic perhaps even. Maybe just dreamlike  I think it's a dream so don't want to count on waking up & it's not reality. Pinch me- this is really happening. As I was running through the eucalyptus forest tonight I thought to myself that I have changed. Not overtly but something inside of me- something is different. If anything I am more sensitive now- towards myself & towards others. I am more demanding of commendable behavior- mostly from myself. In fact, I command it.

Just having free time seems an insane luxury: beach, yoga, surf, running, clubbing, parties & all around cheerful behavior. Now if only that one man I've been putting off until after school is over... if only he should call me w/that offer for coffee, chat & surf again... I'd surely be up for the cause... lol. If not, well then my loss I suppose but a girl's gotta do what a girl's gotta do to get 'er done right? There was no time for distractions this semester. And BTW if you're reading, I wanna snowboard Mauna Loa this winter okay...

Speaking of commendable behavior, I've finally seen the light on other matters. You know, I'm not really one to have skewed intuition so it is odd when I start to doubt myself. Could I really have it in myself to possess non-commendable behavior where another human being is concerned? I ran into some hard evidence this past week while checking out the surf to verify this question ... I kind of wanted to duck away, but the encounter was inevitable. In the end it was good & I'm glad it happened because it never sits well- silence. I understand his view now as I've been recently put in the same shoes. He just wanted answers- simple answers to simple questions that I wasn't prepared to answer, or even felt the need to answer. My fault entirely. I have felt lame for so long over that one (4 years...), and continue to do so, but being confronted was good, yet I still feel ashamed somewhat over my cowardly actions. I hope never to repeat these. I won't soon forget this episode; the look on his beautiful face, the sick feeling in my stomach- non commendable behavior in its finest hour.

So karma has revisited me & now I see some insights into what is commendable behavior & what is not. Ultimately I've decided I was not so far off in being so bold. If one wants something in life, they must ask for it, and ask precisely. Might not get an answer but at least intent was there- commendable behavior. There is usually a reason why no answer is given, and it generally tends to reflect back to why the question was originally asked... heh heh! In the islands we say that is their kuleana. I am an anthropologist- I love this stuff. I am gathering my own data. I'd like to think I've repaid my karma debt.

So through school, yoga & life's teachings I learn that one can never have all the answers. I still continue to ask questions though. Commendable behavior & I command it.

Well into the bewitching hour now & I've set my sights on my beautiful ukulele. Most excellent-

Rambling on as I sing my song...

Aloha po oukou: (a good late night to all of you)

Late night = early morning = exciting. So much more blood pumping through my veins since last Sunday evening when I turned in my paper to my professor. It was like a big spiritual dump & I am cleaned out & empty & need to fill up again. Sometimes it is so simple as, "think & you shall receive"!

It all started last Sunday evening: I could barely re-read my paper for the small kine errors- you know, the ones that read as "as" but are supposed to be "an" and the spellcheck no check em for these errors. Somehow I had the luck to text my boss & tell her I was to be a no-show at work Monday as had to much to do. It ended up I slept from 7:30 pm until 1:30 am & woke up and woke the computer up that was sleeping next to me (now that school is pau am happy to report that a ukulele sleeps next to me). Again pounding the keyboard for a few hours & last revisions, it was over; 2 years of incredible academic stress imposed on a body who likes to be stress-free jungle/beach/mountain mistress, 2 years of zombie-like behavior balancing school & work & little else, 2 years of another type of high adventure of mine that I thrive on. It's all good- the entire path as it just leads to a slight ponderence at the upcoming fork in the road, and then a decision & fly with it.

Fly I did- Monday morning early dawn patrol got me to Peahi, otherwise known as "Jaws" where the sport of tow-in-surfing flourishes on those occasional perfect conditions & people suddenly blow onto island as suddenly as the swell arrives with the winds & ride these mountains of waves with up to 40ft. faces this past week! It is a mountain of water moving towards the shoreline and us spectators sitting atop a ocean cliff composed of decomposing basalt from episodes of volcanic activity that is characteristic of a non-continental land mass...

Back to the story- It is thrilling to watch. I had the good fortune to run into a friend who was supposed to be out in the line-up but an injury prevented him so received coconut wireless instantaneously! It was an afternoon of a line-up of guys in the water taking turns on the sets steaming in on a fairly consistent continual basis with no long waits between sets. In between sets all of us in the crowd,  maybe quite a few hundred brave enough to take on the very narrow dirt road down through the pineapple fields down to the cliffs. Unfortunately they graded the dirt road so no more car-sized divits to maneuver around so rental cars thought they could make it down. I stay akamai though and parked on the Highway and found the biggest local boy driving the biggest monster truck and hopped in the back for the ride down- no one was going to get in the way of this truck- seriously!

The energy was apparent everywhere. It's infectious. We all had smiles in appreciation of the amazement we were witnessing. You know, it was just a super great start to end end of a chapter for me. It's strange to live in a place where there is so much natural beauty still preserved and want to be out in the elements all the time but cannot because work/school takes up all daylight hours... Needless to say it was sensory overload & overstimulation watching the men who ride mountains. Now I'm thinking about Iz Kamakawiwole & wanna learn to play that song on my ukulele.

Oh yes, the ukulele. Some explanation must be necessary as it has replaced the computer for sleeping on the bed privileges next to me. It's definitely a step up from doing school work and falling asleep at the computer in bed. And Adrienne, bless her heart, has found me a teacher already. I'm feeling the love from everyone these days! I just feel lighter w/less obligations! I don't have to put myself on time out anymore! YIPPEE! It's been a consistent lightening of the load since Thanksgiving Day and so much pomp & circumstance of sorts to validate: first there was the `awa ceremony on T-Day, then the sweatlodge on the property, then full moon on my birthday (YES!!!), then thesis turned in, then monster waves, Indian christmas party & meteor showers last night and today, a simple Saturday, yoga class & straight to the beach ALL DAY! Gosh I deserve this. Reading a book on the beach all day- a pleasure book mind you- I finished Kon- Tiki and just started "South: The Endurance Expedition" about the 1914 Sir Ernest Shackleton Antarctic traversing.

Work is even letting up a bit. More background history research on projects and report writing lately and this is always a good thing. Fieldwork is spicing up a bit as well and I think something big is coming our way soon!

As I lay here in the darkness I reflect and realize that I'm pretty lucky. I'm pretty happy with all that I do. It's a constant learning process. I'm not proud of everything, but I try to look deeper into my mistakes and make amends, or at least commitments to avoid making the same mistake twice- although sometimes avoidable. A friend today was telling me on the beach of her latest exploits with the male species and I looked at her strange and she just looked up at me and said, "Don't give me shit!" and that was that- lol! We both laughed as we both know how each other is. Funny as we ran into each other last night pau hana & back on the North Shore in Paia and she was frustrated with the nightlife scene and venting & I had just come from this fantastic Indian food christmas party w/my yoga peeps at a sweet old (renovated) plantation house up in Skill Village- like the kind of super sweet Hawaiian plantation house you visualize when you think of South Sea Islands- w/a bit of a contemporary feel though but still rustic... Oh, and the Samoa connection still goes on as the party was at Tane's house (Samoan yoga teacher). YEs I am still being drawn to American Samoa in the strangest of ways. I think I'm ready to get back to that professor & see about these potential jobs.

Anyway,  so she & I met up off Baldwin Avenue heading up to Makawao.  She was ahead of me so I saw her parked off the road in some open field amongst the cane fields and we just sat under the stars outside our cars for a long time chatting it up & watching for meteors and at one point in time I thought we should just get our beach chairs out and sit down & be more comfortable for our social visit! It was just so sweet, just so country. Some dogs barking in the distance, some roosters crowing or whatever it is that they do, some monster trucks driving by w/Hawaiian music blaring out and stops to see if we are ok or need a ride. Such a story in itself those moments.

Speaking of 'those moments', someone recently wished me an excellent life and, although under the most bittersweet of circumstances, it reminded me that we are all just humans. Expectations can be ego busters, deal breakers, etc. We make mistakes & we either learn from them right away, or we struggle over them a bit more. It is difficult when you want to express yourself and you feel you have no outlet in which to do so. Sometimes the anthropologist in me just wonders if we are evolving or devolving as a species. Why is something as basic as a need for communication is so difficult for many? Why do we have instinct to hiding our feelings? I understand true romance and for these reasons I cannot think about it. It's supposed to just happen so it's always a letdown when you think something interesting is brewing and then it fizzles. It's those first moments of longing, when you want something but it's not within your reach at the moment & you are ok with it because you are confident that if something is meant to be, it just happens effortlessly. Sucks when it doesn't happen effortlessly. But wounds heal all time right?!

I have rambled... sunrising... need sleep...

The Unbearable Rightness of Being

Sunday morning in the jungle still underneath the silk sheets and Canadian goose-down comforter! Strangely enough it gets cold at night. The shack is all windows & besides, who would want to close off all those intoxicating night bloomers from reaching their nostrils while in a hypnopompic sleep? An unbearable rightness of being as I call it.

This full moon phase was amazing. What good fortune to have the full moon fall on the celebration of  my birth- unbearable rightness of being indeed! I was in various spots on the northeast shore to gaze intently at it during sunrise, watching the moon gain momentum and fall into the oceanic depths, as well as the moonrise coming over the ocean from the east as in this picture above from my friend's property down country Tuesday evening. I was driving to work Wednesday early morning & this is what I viewed:

The sight blew me away. What a sweet morning surf those guys had out in the water. Nuts indeed!

Speaking of nuts...                                                              COCONUTS!!! Cocos nuciferas  

... and lots of them. A big harvest wend down on the property this week. So beautiful & full of goodness. Who can resist. I love to hold them up to my lips and drink and feel all that fabulous liquid spilling down. One can't help but smile when watching people drink coconut water. It is amazing to eat and drink from plants that need no help or intervention from humanity- how rare is that? VERY. Another unbearable rightness of being... le gran sigh...

This morning finds the property abuzz as well. It is a celebration of Sagittarians as well as the return of some previous home dwellers that journeyed afar- and then found themselves back on Maui again! How often does this happen? OFTEN. Something about this place; it's hard to leave, it's easy to return to. Bittersweet island home...

So the land has been tended to & manicured into a brilliant display of humanity learning to live to the pulse of the jungle. The caretaker of the land is leading an inipi, or sweat lodge, ceremony this morning to mark the occasions.

... Ok, 5 hours & a loss of 5 lb. of water weight later... Wow! That was intense. Four luscious rounds of sweating, or more like purifying. There was probably 14 of us in total. I intended to only stay for 2 rounds as I wanted to finish my schoolwork but within the last few weeks this monster has taken up residence underneath my left scapula (shoulder blade), and it seemed to be dissipating a bit while in the inipi so I decided to stay. I had never been to a lodge where we didn't come outside after each round and the door was open so wasn't sure if I was going to handle it well, but amazingly so I did.

I have purified myself. I have purged myself. I went through something in there. I always do. It was like being outside my body in a sense and watching the layers of sludge being sloughed off and realizing a shiny new armor was awaiting my return so I gleefully just popped back in! I had time to think about people that were close to me that have left this world & went onto/into another plane of existence. At one point I envisioned my father, my brother, and my kitty kat all next to me just observing me (I giggle that I am still so scientific while experiencing something so abstract & esoteric!).

The rest of the day went smoothly as we came out of the lodge nearly 3pm. We just all slumped onto our towels on the grass atop the knoll overlooking the valleys below and the ocean in the distance. The swell is increasing in size so much that the ocean currents carried their nutrients through the air. The fire was still going strong, and as the skies were overcast (no rain- Yay!) it felt fantastic to have the warmth hit my still slowly quivering body. Yes I must say that I feel ripe with good intentions and a sense of balance after so much stress from the semester. It slowly continued to dissipate the rest of the afternoon and into the evening.

I rehydrated, I ate a meal of quinoa w/pan-fried pecans (delicious), green beans and roasted red bell peppers as I had a voracious appetite to contend with (always...), and slept into early evening. I awoke to a revitalized sense of purpose & turned the computer on and started a last, reflective, paper for another class of mine that I haven't been concentrating on as much as I would have liked all semester. Four hours later I decided to abort that for the time being and attack my other paper... Yes the one due tomorrow evening. I had one last check I wanted to do before pushing send and something was stopping me from doing so the night before. Whatever it was, fear, pride, uneasiness, afraid to let go of all the stress that this caused me- whatever, I was able to proof one last time, insert the headers/footers and off it went! POOF* my work is done here.  Buh-bye. Game over. It was an excellent head trip & I am all the better for it. Let the decompression begin... not quite yet though. Still another week of classes, 1 last paper due, 1 last teaching session and class discussion so... I'm not quite ready to take myself deep into the jungle of Hana & backside Kaupo and just scream until the foliage absorbs it, me- takes me into its arms & caresses me until its time to spit me out & I re-introduce myself into society as a normal person who has time on their side...

It is nearing 5 a.m. & it's time to get some shut eye. I hear the rumble of the waves hitting the cliffs down the gulch 1 mile away. It excites me. During all the excitement of the day I was able to remember to text my boss & let her know I would not be coming into work Monday a.m. as I plan on sleeping in late (7 a.m?) and heading to Jaws to partake in the festivities of watching the men who ride mountains. Yes I'm taking 60' faces supposed to be hitting the Islands- well, just about now actually so I bid you all a good night because I'm ready to have my mind blown on the cliffs of Peahi in a few short hours. If no one has experienced this, I assure you it is THRILLING, mind-blowing and just the beauty of the movement of seeing something conquer- no,not conquer- seeing somebody with such intent & will & love get towed into a developing wave and let go of the towrope and ride down the face of a monster wave with such grace and intensity... that is some good energy and I want to be around to feel it. Not to mention that the scenery is certainly easy on the eyes both on the cliffs & in the water!!!

lines of communication

Goodness, it's raining inside! Fortunately only a sprinkle, yet outside the heavens are still unleashing a furious downpour. The holiday weekend meant lots of time to catch up on yoga & sleep most importantly.   I started thinking about how remote of a place I have put myself in. I laugh as it became apparent while having lunch with friends on Saturday after yoga class and their friends visiting from Los Angeles. Such a different way of life yet yoga brought us together. Such a different set of priorities yet the ocean brought us together.

The ocean really is a conveyor and not an isolator. Thank you Mr. Heyerdahl for that insight. In relaying his mates' voyage across the eastern Pacific in a raft constructed of balsa logs from the jungle of Ecuador halfway through the 4300 nautical mile voyage he stated, "when we were halfway across, we were about 2000 sea miles from land both ahead and astern. We felt we were living in a strange world- 'east of the sun and west of the moon'".

It is this spirit of adventure, not entirely for sport but for research in to man's past... this is da kine! I have been swept away with this book wanting to fly through the pages but instead wisely choosing to listen intently to every word & let it's meaning convey itself, it's truths, in an unfolding mystery that is both satisfying & nourishing for my soul. This is my reality show of choice.  His descriptions of accounts thrill me. They lull myself out of the comforts (not that I have many...) of my existence. They provoke me to delve deeper into myself and see what I am really made of. The instigate a new chapter's inception.

There are no limits to communication- only if one chooses not to communicate. I have continued to learn upon this notion. What about the time traveling through the Sahara during 9/11 & the compassion shown to me by Tuareg Berbers from Morocco & Algeria? What about the time in Italy researching my family lineage equipt w/only a copy of our family tree & finding myself knocking of the door of "a Formolo" in Sporminore & only being able to speak Spanish to him? And then THAT time, and THAT time, and there was THAT time...etc.

So why is it so difficult to communicate among English first language speakers sometimes? Do we take conveying meaning for granted? Do we just consider communicating our lexical choices to be defined by the most popular usage of a term? Do we not know enough about our own language family to consider variations of meaning? Do we read things and only see what we want to see? Am I just an odd linguist who expects others to understand nuances of morphology, lexicon & phonology in relation to pragmatic usage? Hah, this last is likely!

If one looks at the greater scale of things in society though, so much of our perceptions are messed up. All channels of communication are strained concerning politics, economics and culture- on a global level. Miscommunication is present at every level of society. I have no answers, only thoughts. I think people need to travel more- outside their comfort zones. I believe when outside one's comfort zone, this is when you open up to the unknown. We can look back to our ancestors to see this. We are wanders, Homo sapiens: we are bi-pedal, we have large brain capacities, we have physical shells (our skin) that protect our internal organs, we manipulated tools to procure food, clothing & shelter. We radiated out of Africa to all reaches of the planet because we are social creatures. We are curious by nature & desire to not only understand our environs but influence them as well.

I continue to work on myself to keep my lines of communication open. Why- because it is necessary. Because I enjoy surrounding myself with these intrepid adventurers and because it is a meaningful existence for me. We are higher beings. We have been given the ability to communicate & convey meaning in so many different ways. We should hone our skills every chance possible.

Time to seize the day-

thanks giving for yoga gratitude: tales from the mat & beyond

I love this picture taken today after our morning practice. I wish the entire class would of been in the picture because we are a tribe. A tribe of people giving gratitude to our ancestors before us who show us this path of gratitude for our bodies health & well being. It's even more than that. Collectively as a group of yoga practitioners we shared feelings and good vibrations for 2 hours & that works on a synergistic level & penetrates our physical entities. Such goodness emitting from a dedicated group of people has to make a change. It has to matter on such a profound level. It just has to. I know it to be truth. To top it off I met 2 new people in class: Bob & Tane. What is interesting is that Bob heard me talking to Diana about possibilities in American Samoa & he looked at me & said, I lived there for 6 years... Then he looked to Tane, another yoga teacher new to the Islands, and said, "She's thinking about moving to AS" & then he looked back at me & said, "Tane is Samoan". So 2 people new to my life are connected to Samoa & I'm becoming connected to Samoa in my researches. It's just funny how this game of life works...I am being lured to Samoa... I like it.

After a 2 1/2 hour class I cruised back to Bamboo Mountain- where I live to attend a community `awa ceremony. `Awa or Kava Kava was brought to Hawaii with the ancient Polynesian voyagers. "It is valued as an intoxicating drink and as a medicine. `Awa is also a sedative, used as a sacred plant for prayer, as well as appreciated for pleasure, especially in the south Pacific islands. It assists in opening communication channels with others and with the elements."

http://www.canoeplants.com/awa.html



We sat up on the hill where the forest opens up to the sky & brilliant sunlight flooded our ceremony through the majestic palm trees swaying in rhythm with the trade winds. A light rain squall rolled in at the end of the ceremony & it was just pure gratitude. As each participant takes the `awa cup in the hand & gives an offering to our ancestors, or future generations & to present existence they drink from the cup and with cup in hand have a platform to speak. I have participated in these ceremonies before- both in Hawaii and in Fiji & well... the sense of ritual and communicating with & receiving direct ancient spiritual knowledge from direct descendants of ancient Polynesian voyagers... unexplainable. We shared an amazing Thanksgiving meal  & wine & conversation. I am so grateful for what I have. I might not have much in the way of material possessions, but I know love. I know I am loved.

Going rogue- in the style of Hollyday

So I'm pondering professionalism this weekend- in between edits on my final paper submission for school. To take time off from writing really necessitates writing something else- like an entry in my blog, so as to continue with writing...of some sort. Don't worry, this volume will lead into professionalism at the appropriate time.  First I'll distract you all with scenes from one night in Kula... Maui really is a wonderland. It is amazing how many different environments are wrapped up into a small Pacific island. Seriously, it was COLD last night- in the upper 40's. The smell of Eucalyptus was intoxicatingly seductive.

I had a long evening of draft revisions planned but thankfully my considerate hijackers whisked me away to the enchanting Eucalyptus forest in Kula atop Haleakala near an elevation of 2500' amsl. It was my 1st hollyday party of the season: a black/white/red attire affair outdoors under the starry night with the most incredible food & drink & entertainment at the outdoor ampitheatre. It quickly turned to freezing but the party continued on with a HUGE bonfire just down the path from the band, or yea, and the open (in every sense of the meaning) bar.  A good time was had by all & the MOST amazing bacon wrapped chestnuts appeared outta nowhere... Kudos goes out to the man attending the meat station. It was so tender and succulent juicy diving morsels coming off the fire... Red Velvet cupcakes, Haupia/chocolate pie... SO MUCH FOOD! It was just a sweet bohemian gathering of Maui peeps enjoying each other. Ancil's band played 2 sets & they just rocked it. Rasha is all throaty w/her sultry voice! Just fabulous evening & I'm happy to reflect on it. I'm also happy I pilfered some Red Velvet cupcakes when leaving for... right about now... along w/my coffee in bed!

This transitions into my thoughts about professionalism. I have never really considered how I should 'present' myself to my professional community because, well this is me. I am strange, I am goofy, I am nerdy, I am wild, I am dedicated to enjoying life to the fullest, I am professional when I need to be- which is a lot of my waking hours... So in doing some initial research of how I want to advance my career I have been doing some investigative research on potential jobs, bosses and locales. I've contacted many colleagues from my past from jobs we have worked on and this has been fantastic in itself to re-connect on this level. Now I am wondering how professional I'm supposed to be about it all though? I mean everybody I know well enough to trust giving me feedback knows me, knows who I am, what I am capable of, and what kind of situation I am looking for that will compliment my background.

What I haven't really considered though is that these potential situations might be researching me as well!  Will they be googling me? Will they find this blog? Will they read it? Should they read it? Should I care?  Certain camps are of the thought that I should protect myself & I initially thought so but then I really delve into the chemistry of the situation: All this evidence of myself is me. It is me how I really am so why wouldn't I want a prospective employer to check it out & see if I am right for them? I don't know, I'm pretty proud of what I have accomplished in this life so far- all the while living life with my special flair simultaneously working very hard to build a career I am proud of.

I recall once a few years back when telling my boss I was leaving for 4 months to go backpacking from Africa to Turkey that I needed to do this and it would make be a better worker and I would come back more charged and a better person, and worker, for it. He looked at me, amazed, and signed my vacation request... I think he was impressed that I had the balls to just tell it from my heart. I wish more people would just 'tell it from the heart'. I seem to have less & less tolerance for people that can't just fess up and speak their truth. Certainly this is the case for men as of late. I hope not so for any potential employers of mine because what you see, & read, is what you get. What can I say, it's so simple an equation really.

That said, I am ready to elevate my mind to the next challenge. If any of you potential employers are blog-stalking me I thank you. You will not be disappointed. Let me just tell you what I envision for myself: I'm ready to become part of a multidisciplinary research cooperative. I'm ready to make a difference through my work. I'm up for the challenge of exhausting days in the field collecting data, analyzing data, grueling hard labor and all the while benefitting myself as well and gathering my own data that will take me further into my research so I can articulate what my future PhD research will encompass. It will take on elements of ESL/EFL, it will take on elements of anthropology/archaeology/ethnography, it will take on critical applied linguistics. And you know what, I'm going to LOVE every excruciatingly painful, sunburnt, sleep-deprived, fantastic, life-altering minute of it... So, I suggest you consider your choice wisely because I'm a keeper. Oh yea, I'm not all that keen on monitoring bulldozers & excavators anymore. I'll do it as it's always a great time to listen to my favorite podcasts (NPR's Wait Wait Don't Tell, The Watchercast ((thanks Katie-girl!)), No Agenda w/Adam Curry & John C. Dvorak, Savage Love ((yes I am female & have urges...)), Naked Archaeology, Grammar Girl's Quick & Dirty Tips, Filmspotting, Acoustic Long Island, 3 Wine Guys (("Let the Whining Begin...")), Accordian Noir, Net @ Night, Brooklyn Jazz Underground, NYC History: The Bowery Boys and so many more) and it is really good exercise and a fantastic butt workout so I do like this element of it, but it is really dusty, noisy and mind-numbing as well.

I've loved it that some of my most respected friends in the industry and giving me feedback so readily. The sky really is the limit from here: Guam, Micronesia, Hilo, Oahu, American Samoa, Pacific Islands, New Zealand, Istanbul, Poland: I'm not going rogue, I've been rogue...

what's you got cooking?

The unbearable lightness of being- of sorts. I am full of glee that the stress is lifting from my body. I have been so wrapped up for months, years in academia, and keeping it so together so as to not falter off course. I have disciplined myself with all-work-and- school-and-hardly-any-play-make-Holly-stay-on-track blah blah blah. Time to cut loose and reap the benefits from all my hard work & efforts & hope they pay off. First off, If I'm thinking of delving further into the South Pacific I need snow- ASAP! Friends on the Mainland raved with week about Mt. Baker as well as Mt. Hood & all the fresh powder so early in the season. So that's cooking on the back burner. Thanksgiving... thinking my 1st draft is due for my professor around the same time, but also thinking of getting away to Hilo, or South Kona specifically. I just saw family pictures of my brother & his wife crabbing in Charleston, Oregon recently & it makes me pine to hang with them as well. Fond memories of crabbing & clamming on the Oregon coast 2 Thanksgivings past... But the school factor and travel too far away just isn't setting too well w/me right now. No I cannot lose focus just yet.
Returning to a dedicated yoga practice as well as running at sunset routine has definitely increased my energy & productivity! I am amazed how open my eyes are to everything right now. Tonight I ran through a eucalyptus forest and my eyes started watering as my nostrils became infused w/that clean, pine scent. I'm blown away by the beauty in all. Was I just not seeing it recently? Of course. I did see beauty though- beauty of academia. When you get into that research mode and everything seems ideal in that strange parallel universe.
In retrospect I probably wouldn't have worked so much as I have done the past few years in school. It seemed the only way, but there was so much I had to give up to fit work in along w/school. No matter though as something good is brewing from it. I am sure of it. Where is it brewing is the question: Istanbul, South Pacific, Alaska, South America...
To review, what are the necessities? I need yoga, I need a clean environment, I need culture, I need open space, I need science, I want a man... and not just any man. This man has to love what I do & where I go. If he can't go where I go, well then he still needs to love me. Who knows- that element always fluxuates.  That's right this is my brainstorming session & I'm cooking up the ultimate love potion: fantastic career, travel, lover = quality of life cuisine. Throw in a Chilean Malbec & some Moroccan limes for a delicious dessert & good to go.

opposites attract opposing forces

Been a long time since I had enough time alone w/myself to really just clear my mind. So much put on the back burner so I could give school my all.

This weekend was monumental. The hike up to the top of the ridge was long and difficult and incredible and after this weekend I find myself atop the ridge looking down to the other side... A most amazing wave of sweet exhalation keeps breaking atop my head now. Steam is emitting. I did it- I made it to the top of the ridge on this journey I took alone. Well, pretty much alone. I tossed people to occupy that small space in the back of my mind along w/everything else. It was a solo journey with some sweet hiccups!

So tonight I find myself pleasantly tuckered out.  Nico and I climbed another mountain at work today. How can 10 acres be so full of overgrown weeds that don't take kindly to machete? I admit I was holding the clipboard... and map ... and flagging tape ... and compass ... and most importantly the sharpie and poor Nico was left to forage ahead and pave the way- for me, so I could use my sharpie to write on the flagging tape, and mark off on the map...  Yes it does sound sexist doesn't it- lol. At any rate, I did get jealous at one point looking at all the sweat pouring out from him. We kept to our own tasks though! It was fantastic to be out surveying the land in all of its thorny weediness. Gosh it made me feel really alive: hiking over uneven terrain coming up into gullys, arroyos, criks (think creek but pronounce crick). So here in Hawaii they call them swales and bulldozer push piles from 40 years ago... The point being that I was holding onto the elements to keep from getting sucked down into them. It was incredibly rich. All that cerebral, mental studying of books every night, all night; up until all hours on the computer logged into classes, blocking everything else out- well today was sweet that's all. The weekend proved fruitful for me & literature review & power point critical needs analysis presentation turned it... phew!

Now that I'm atop the ridge looking over I get glimpses of what I abandoned behind in storage. Pleasantly exhausted from work, I lay here on the couch getting my one woman party on w/an adult beverage & then some. My tarot cards suddenly jumped out of my closet & into my mind & moments afterwards into my hands. I have this friend who it seems is sad & I thought could use a card drawn for them so I can gather some insights about them. I'm a bit worried about them & don't know if they are alright- emotionally, mentally, physically, financially- whatever.

If there can be no verbal communication, so then shall it exist on another level- a level where I know my powers. Now this friends level, a level many people in their predicament they think they can sink into under the radar- especially if they are far enough away. A friend always knows these things though, well this one does anyway. So after a few deep breaths, turning off lights & a Moroccan blood orange candle burning (I know you're thinking cliche but I say just wicked cool).  The reflective mood made me feel human again, not just a knowledge sucker out of academic books, journals & articles to theorize, hypothesize & debate among colleagues.

7 of disks: failure- the Aleister Crowley Thoth Tarot deck
Never a card to be anticipated honestly. Interesting as it was raining hard earlier and right before I pulled the card it stopped raining and got very calm. Kinda like 'it' wanted to stop raining so I could concentrate on openness. Now that I contemplate the 7 of disks & my friend the rain just came pouring down- like a cacaphony of news not necessarily well-received by either of us I suppose.  What is the bright side of a fall from paradise into the abysses of fate? Ok I just have to quote this as I couldn't possibly reproduce this paragraph- even in the creative state of mind/body I'm in right now:

"Failure is the name of the card and program for its downfall, and so the Seven of Disks talk of hopes deceived and crushed, of unfilled promises, loss of fortune, dealings that first sounded good but later revealed as short-living or cheating, false successes with no lasting benefit, that in the end had cost much more than they had gained. "


There is always a bright side though and that's the beauty of coming out of despair:

"The hope within the card is the hand of Saturn, the father of time, who reminds us to wait for a chance instead of quickly jumping after any vague promise, to silently watch and reflect and get deeper insights into the coherences, until the time will come when a real chance shows up."


http://www.corax.com/tarot/cards/index.html?disks-7


I can't say if my friend can feel that I am thinking about them right now & I might never know but I feel a sense of relief. The card reveals much about myself as well- in feeling very fortunate that I have not had to contemplate this harsh aspect of life too closely. I wish for my friend to recover from their journey & become once again a part of the world where people move their mouths around as well as the muscles in their mouth to produce different sounds and pronunciate vowels & consonants in order to construct words into sentences based on thoughts.

Some people just don't get it- friendship

I am woman hear me roar...metaphorically speaking... or not

I am blessed. I feel strong: strength, compassion, valor, sensuality- all of it I have channeled & this is it. This is the weekend. I'm walking the walk, talking the talk. Anticipated end result: more strength, more compassion, more valor & most of all... more sensuality. Everything is illuminated. I have faced fears, challenged myself to such extremes that I have re-designed how I view things. Of course this is a metaphor for school, and life- my take on my things.

Such mental exhaustion brings me to the final push. This volume... yes this is the one. The NYC volume? My take on that... that was a trial run. Some minor obstacles threatened to lead me astray. I saw through the weakness; the weak link that so often destroys much of humanity by leaving them to recoil in their passive-aggressive sorrows, real or imagined. I'm not one to be taken down w/lost souls, but I am grateful to learn valuable lessons from reflecting at a safe distance.

Continuing on in the tradition of metaphor, I realize sometimes one just has to go to that dark place in order to recover. As long as that is the goal: recovery- then ok, alright have at it, get it out. Don't get too comfortable though because it's a beautiful life. There are so many volume's to fill so don't waste time in one w/a disappearing plot. I'm all about the plot thickening- into a garden of earthly delights. Yes I throw flowers from my delightful garden at your contemptuous self-pity.  Take that fragrant blow to your ego- such an all-consuming target with blinking bulls-eyes- neon lights conveying the message, "do not disturb friend." What's this here? Decomposing organic waste lay at the feet of your petrifying armour awaiting for your soiled self to mulch itself back into the earth and re-birth anew. Hopefully yours is of  the hearty-annual blooming variety otherwise you're a seed waiting to be sown in vain...

brain is leaking, knowledge is escaping

My brain is maxed out at capacity. It hurts. It seems to be leaking... There is too much information all bottled up. I keep spittling out useless information at the wrong time. I am consumed with dribble- everywhere I go & anything I do I digress back to thoughts on this bloody thesis... It's as if I've gone mad. I must be talking in my sleep as I wake up & my mandible hurts. Gosh why can't I pound the keyboard in my sleep and get 'er done already. Six more weeks of this self-inflicted torture... can I endure? Of course but will I keep my sanity intact? Will I be any smarter for it all? Will I get a raise? Will I get a vacation from myself? I could use one certainly. How to dislodge my mind from my body??? Bloody hell I"m boring even myself. To quote some witty person, "I feel like a run-on sentence in a punctuation-crazy world." I wish I knew who said that. I suppose I could just f#cking google it actually...

http://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=jfgi

ok couldn't figure out the answer to that last question... I know exactly what I need- a good dose of David Sedaris! Yea, Thursday night I'm going to check him out at the MACC. It is this dry, raunchy humor that I need right now to slap me in the face and render me stupid for a few hours so I can return among the living that embrace a witty sense of humor. I'm ending here as I've bored even myself tonight w/all this spittle...

All Hallows Eve Paia 2009

...And good times were had by all. A fairly tame evening for the ghouls & goblins this year. That's ok though. Honestly at some points throughout the evening I thought about additional points I wanted to work on for my thesis... That was in between the wine shots, the flasks of tequila & rum... The outfits weren't innovative. Mostly it seems a night for a free ticket to wear cheap, tacky lingerie made in China and walk around half naked- hardly innovative by my standards indeed. I mean that's an every day occurrence here in Hawaii- lol!


Moving along to Sunday morning fast forward to Haiku to the soggy lands of Bamboo Mountain. It's a fantastic morning lying in bed & drinking Italian espresso with the pouring rain tempting me to run naked through the property & gather some passion fruit for breakfast- no tacky Chinese lingerie for me- heh heh! I've been missing the rain so much these past few weeks of Hawaiian doldrums so I feel it came yesterday afternoon bringing good news. That the rains came on my father's birthday as well was pleasantly serendipitous.  The greatness that was that man lives inside me and constantly gives me courage to make choices about my path that I believe are the right ones.

My most recent choices are to spend christmas w/my mum, to check out grad schools w/progressive PhD programs in critical applied linguistics, and to slow down in life & take the time to let me have my mind blown again...